Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Hidden Obstacles

Isn't it funny that just because we know something to be true, we still don't take our own advice. Take my career choice for example. I am still hoping that one day I'll get my degree and be some type of family pshycologist, either working with children, marriages or something like that. I already have a lot of "knowledge" on the subject and feel like I usually give good advice and see a situation for what it really is. However, I resist using that same advice in my own relationship and probably have just as many relationship problems as anyone I know. Its so much harder to do what we know is right when its something that personally touches us or changes us. No one likes to admit they are wrong, and I mean no one. Some people will do it but that doesn't mean they hate having to do it. I believe it all boils down to one of 2 factors; or both - pride and familiarity. Most people are more proud than they care to admit, myself included. Anything that challenges my pride will certainly have a fight on its hands! That's true even when I know I'm wrong. Familiarity is what influences the rest of us. We get into our routines, our comfortable surroundings and its hard to break away from that, even if it means life could be better. Its tough to break old habits. Other than simple fear, that answers the question about why people stay in abusive relationships. They are used to it and no matter how painful, its still familiar. That's also why my mother left a non-working stereo sitting on her kitchen counter for almost 10 years, even though it blocked her view and she never used it. That's where I had put it before leaving and it became a fixture which she never thought of moving, even though annoyed by it. And when I pointed out she could get rid of it, it was like a new day for her! Now she can be in the kitchen and see the TV too! I laughed at her of course but have come to the conclusion that its human nature and I too am guilty. We should all take the time to examine our lives from the view of an outsider. That may mean to actually ask someone that you trust to help you with it. You might be surprised at what's blocking your view and perhaps the removal of such obstacles or the change of course could mean a new beginning for your life.

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