Sunday, April 13, 2008

Selfish? Not Me!

I've had another revelation this weekend. Since I'm much happier now and have more time to enjoy life, I'm not as selfish as I once was. I realized that in the last couple of years, I had become very selfish. (And yes, I knew this even as it was happening but didn't really care) I'm speaking more specifically about my time. I felt like there was never enough time to get things done, to spend time with my family or to just be alone. "Free time" wasn't really a concept I understood. How could a person possibly have "free time"? There wasn't enough time to get everything done anyway so there was always something productive I could be doing! Of course, my definition of what's productive has changed too since I've changed my priority list. I can recall many times when I was asked to help with something or even to spend time with someone and I said "no" because I couldn't comfortably fit it into my busy schedule. More than that, I recall many times when I had the opportunity to step in to help or visit friends and family but chose not to. Don't misunderstand. As I mentioned above, I was aware of this but chose to not change it because I felt that if I did, I'd miss out on what I needed to do for myself and my own family. Now, however, I am so thankful that I've been able to change this in my life. Its such a great feeling to offer to do something for someone or to say yes when asked to do something. As I sit here today, listening to my children and their cousins play outside my window, I can't help but think that only a couple of months ago, this would not have been possible. I would never have offered to bring home someone else's children to play! Watch other children in addition to mine and try to get things done around the house on my only day off? Are you kidding me? I would never even have considered that. Now, its a wonderful sound and I'm thankful!

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