Wednesday, December 31, 2008

To Make Him Proud

I've been planning to post something for at least a week now but wasn't quite sure what. I haven't exactly been in the best mood and I didn't want to be Debbie Downer by posting something negative that no one wants to read. As most of you know, I lost my Grandaddy last week and I miss him so much already. So, I decided I would try to focus on the good (as was my advice in a recent post)and look forward to the new year and I'll dedicate that to him. We can only hope that the new year will bring better things even if you have been fortunate enough to have a wonderful 2008. We should always hope and strive for better while being satisfied with what we have already been given. To reflect on this past year and what I have been blessed with- I finally got to stay home with my children and get to know them better. This year has been one of rediscovery and findings for myself. I've learned more about myself (some good, some bad) than I ever knew before. Finally, I was able to reflect on life and what I want out of it. Though I may not always get it, it still felt nice to be able to stop and examine life for a moment instead of seeing it fly past me. Priorities have been changed in my life and for the better. Keeping them in check is still a task but at least I know my goals. I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions because I think we should always try to be better people. However, I will throw that aside and publicly announce my "intentions" for myself and my family this coming year. I may regret this when I look back at it later and see that I actually put it in writing but maybe it will hold me accountable!
For 2009, I'd like to be more organized. I did really good when I first came home from work but I'm starting to feel overwhelmed again and that's not really a place I'd like to be. I want to get my house "under control" so that the maintenance of it will be less of a headache. Structure with the kids is something else I plan to work on. Although there's already some in place, it could definitely use some improvement and I think we'll all get along better! Income - I need some and that's all I'll say about that one for now. And, not to be a bummer, but I'd like to at least mention my Grandaddy. I want to continue to do as I would have before to make him proud. I didn't realize until he was gone just how much I depended upon him for advice and his opinion. I also didn't realize that after God, he was next in line of those that I wanted to make proud. His morals and values were steadfast and strong. I could always count on him for the truth and his opinion to be based on the principles of the Bible. Because he was such a strong christian and a wonderful, respected person, the look of pride and joy on his face when I or my children pleased him was absolutely priceless and nothing will ever replace that. And last but not least, I want to be a better christian and worker for God. There are things that I have put off that I should already be doing and I'd like to change that this year. I need to be a more active church member and speak up about my beliefs to others. After all, that would have made my Grandaddy very proud!

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