Sunday, October 28, 2012


Many times lately, I have been reminded by the most trivial events just how rare yet important it is to have real friends. We often call people “a friend” when a more correct term would be “acquaintance”. Perhaps the word friend is used too loosely in our social media society. I hear it tossed around way too much and to some that seems petty to point out but when you are fortunate enough to have one or more true friends, you likely understand how essential it is to save the title for those deserving of it! So, what is the meaning of the word that we so carelessly toss around?

Per Merriam-Webster, a “friend” can have several meanings. In fact, if you read the definition, it does make the word less significant to those who are most important to us. Here are the top 2 meanings:

1. a : one attached to another by affection or esteem

    b : acquaintance

2  a : one that is not hostile

    b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group

Really? “One that is not hostile”?!? As long as we are not hostile, we are friends? Since I can’t argue with a dictionary, I thought I’d try and find another word that might be more appropriate than friend to describe a few special people in my life. I had no luck. Maybe you can suggest something! Since I failed, I decided that instead, I should use words to describe my opinion of a friend. Those words would include honest, loving, compassionate, caring, thoughtful, dependable and trustworthy. The last three are most important to me. Since God says Love is most important to him, you would think it might be to me. Nope. I guess I figured that if a person really is thoughtful, dependable and trustworthy to me, they would have to love me and I would have to love them. Perhaps that’s na├»ve but it’s still my belief.

Now, after all that insight, here’s where I was going. If you are lucky enough to have one or more true friends in your life as I do, know it! Although I’ve often heard that a real friend will be there when you need them the most, I didn’t completely get that until I realized that despite popular belief, its actually not the big events of life that trigger the most need. It’s during those quiet yet tough times when most people around wouldn’t see. That’s when true friends reveal themselves. It’s in those moments that a true friend goes beyond what is expected and notices when you are having a tough time. Here is what I have learned and what I am striving to remember: Do not take advantage of a friend. Make effort to be present and available in their lives when they need you. A true friend will return the favor when the roles are reversed. Most important, don’t take them for granted. Show your appreciation for their existence in your life. God placed certain people in our lives and we should be thankful that he cared enough to do so!


Anonymous said...

I have an alternative for friend - Sister in Christ! Love you Carla! Your Friend - Andrea. See you soon.

Anonymous said...

Great article. Of course Christ is our best friend and I know you know that. Thanks so much for sharing your writings.

Nelliegray said...

Recently in my life, I unfortunatley lost a good friend, not by death but,well.... for other reasons. I completely love this post Carla! You're my friend, my family and I'm glad I know you!